We spent the day exploring Sydney and feel as though I could be woken from this dream world at any moment.
I let that sink in as I realize the beauty of dreams coming true. Little dreams (like traveling the world) matter much. Though not quite as much as the big ones (like leading women to know Christ more).
Getting to this point, on the other hand, wasn’t so sweet. Our last few days in Fiji loomed with the pending goodbyes and saddening reality that this couldn’t last forever. We will return to our corners of the globe, likely to never see each other again. (On better days I’m more hopeful.)
Goodbyes began Friday night and continued until we boarded the plane. Fifteen hours of sucker punches that made me wish I could shrink the globe.
Before that, however, were wonderful weeks of teaching and learning. We spent a week equipping Fijian believers in how to share their faith and train others to do the same. The privilege of sharing a devotion and teaching on discipleship that week brought overwhelming affirmation from my team. There are few things sweeter than doing the thing you love most and then being told you were made for it. And the truth of that further renewed the vision that Yahweh has sweetly spoken into my heart.
This was, perhaps, one of the most impactful elements of my time here. Unintentionally, I had in many ways stopped believing in the vision. I wouldn’t have ever admitted so, but the act of renewal that took place this summer revealed that I had stopped actively chasing it. What good is a vision that remains in your mind? The unrealized joy of a stagnant dream threatens my resolve. And more often than not this year I let it win.
The week after leading the clinic was a week of theology training with an Aussie mate called Nello. Spending time in such study sparked my mind in a beautiful way! It made me realize how truly excited I am for grad school. Though I didn’t agree with all of his theology, it was fun to study and discuss again after a year out of the classroom.
I’m astounded that this chapter of life is over, yet wildly grateful for all it held. I’m better now than ever at living in the moment and loving it for all it’s worth. There is such beauty in being where you are. There is joy to be found in every moment and so much is often missed.
Thank you for carrying me through this journey with your prayers. Thank you for believing in, supporting, and loving me when I’m far away. Words can’t express the comfort it has brought through the course of this summer.
May you ever be delighting in where you are and what you’re doing. May your heart find true contentment in the chapter of life that is being written with every breath. And may your passion for life make it impossible for you to ever remain stagnant.
Cheers to life, adventure, and unwritten chapters yet to unfold.
One of the unrivaled joys of my life is the way that Yahweh makes me coffee.
You see, my Maker has crafted me to simply love a hot cup of joe. My addiction to the bean first started while serving on mission in Brazil. I can still smell the rich blend and see the liquid, black as the starless night, pouring from the pot to fill my mug in the morning. I didn’t drink coffee before that… it’s a life I try not to remember. 😊
Since that trip in 2009, I have grown to deeply love the way that coffee brings people together. Over coffee I have reconciled friendships, grown giddy with unexpected affection, written papers, read theology, watched movies, talked about Jesus, and shared stories. With laughter and tears, with new friends and old, in the morning, afternoon, and evening.
While in Malta last year, on one of my hardest days to date, my students invited me to her room at the refugee camp. She made me coffee and we talked about Jesus. It was a sweet way that Yahweh unexpectedly gave me that which I love most. {You can read more about that day here!}
Now in Fiji, I was struggling again, as I did in Vanuatu, with the way some of the methods we were teaching were playing out in the community. I confessed my frustration to my King, and my longing to see methods played out appropriately and effectively – something I had yet to see.
My prayers were expressed in conversation with Adina, my beautiful fellow intern from Romania. As we set out in the afternoon for our intentional gospel sharing time, we told each other of our struggles thus far. I said how much I wanted to see a relationship built with a family. She said how badly she wanted to see someone respond emotionally- not for the sake of tears, but because Jesus genuinely moved in their heart. We wanted to meet someone whose day would legitimately be better because we talked with them. Not an inconvenient nuisance, or burdened interruption, but a true blessing. Unimportantly, I mentioned that I was hungry. And off we went.
Totally by God’s leading, we ended up on a street and at the first home we passed, we saw a boy in the driveway. We told him we were helping with a church down the road and wanted to get to know some people in the area. He eagerly invited us inside where we met his brothers and grandmother, Kalo. We learned that Sam’s family had just returned to Fiji after living in the States for two years (which explains his incredible English!). We quickly discovered that Kalo is a strong believer, and she shared her beautiful testimony with us. We learned about her life and family, and she told us specific things that she needed prayer for.
When we finished praying, we opened our eyes to see Kalo weeping. She was so moved by our time together and so encouraged by our faith in Yahweh. She wiped her eyes and asked if we would stay for afternoon tea. She sliced bread and brought out butter and peanut butter.
We built a relationship. We saw true emotion and gratefulness… even in tears! She fed us. Every longing in our hearts was met in a stunning way.
Adina and I sat smiling across the table. It was easy to see Yahweh’s hand at work and hear His gentle whisper. Though it was tea instead of coffee, it was my King. Knowing what I love, seeing what I need, and stirring them together like the milk and sugar in my mug.
Sitting in a cottage in Fiji, I’m astounded at the way that Yahweh has sweetly spoken over my heart throughout the past year. A year full of challenge, lessons, and uncertainty, I have grown more in year 22 than in most. As I begin 23, I find myself thankful that 22 is ending, and anxious to see what is yet to come.
I desperately want to live a life that glorifies Jesus Christ and draws the nations to Him. I want to know Yahweh more and love people better. I want to live passionately and impact the people around me. I want to make the most of the opportunities that I have to talk about Jesus, love the unloved, and laugh until my stomach hurts.
I don’t ever want to stop learning. I want to be better every year than I was the year before. And I want people to be better, and to know Jesus more, because they’ve known me.
Yet for every immeasurable goal, I want to set some that are measurable.
So, here’s to 23!
23 Goals for my 23rd Year
Writing:
1. Blog consistently & honestly.
2. Rewrite Roots curriculum.
3. Write bible study on memory…
Ministry:
4. …and lead a group of women through it.
5. Lead a small group of freshman girls.
6. Disciple 3 younger girls.
7. Support a missionary family with love and finances.
Walk with Jesus:
8. Memorize the book of Ephesians.
9. Spend weekly time in disciplined prayer (for the nations & the ones I love).
10. Reread through the Bible & journal as I go.
11. Intentionally pursue friendship with those who don’t know Jesus.
12. Lead 5 people to Christ.
Academic:
13. Maintain above a 3.5 GPA in grad school.
14. Study the Greek and translate Ephesians.
15. Take advantage of the resources available to help me learn – literature & people.
This past weekend we had the delightful privilege of living in a village among the beautiful Fijian people. The Nabila Village welcomed us not just with smiles and empty schedules, but by donating mattresses, opening their homes for us to use their toilets (the church doesn’t have any), and cooking the best food.
Let’s back up: the church is a humble, one room building that sits near the edge of the road in a village that borders the mangroves and beach. The land is not owned by the church (or even the pastor) but rather, it was donated by one of the families. When we arrived on Friday afternoon by bus, we walked into the church and found nearly 30 mattresses neatly lined and filling up the entire church. This can only mean one thing: team sleepover! We found both humor and adventure in the lack of privacy that came from sharing a room with married couples & singles, guys & gals, ten different cultures spanning forty years of age. It was so fun.
We had the afternoon to explore, so a small group of us found a few locals to lead us up to the top of a mountain. After over an hour of hiking through the most beautiful wheat field, we reached the top where we found a small building. We climbed on the roof and discovered that we could literally see everything. Islands in the far distance, mountains the opposite way, Nabila Village, and everything in between. The sky was teeming with the most perfect clouds and a delicious breeze cooled us off. We watched the start of the sunset before we had to begin our descent to make it home for dinner! Culturally, it is inappropriate for women to show their knees, so we had to hike in our long skirts… which, if I may say, is likely the most inconvenient thing I have ever done.
Friday night we had a service for youth from several churches. Several came from hours away just to hang out and worship with us. Our intern leader asked if I would be willing to recite a couple chapters from Philippians during the service, as several team members would be sharing a testimony. This was the first time I’ve shared something from memory overseas, and doing so challenged me incredibly. My instinct was to say no for fear of language barriers, nerves, and disbelief. It was sweet to acknowledge and remember that the Word of God is true for every person in every culture. It is living and active and the freedom that I have found in my mind because of the Word that is hidden there is not an American privilege.
I was so humbled by that opportunity, and was blown away at how many people shared with me that they were impacted. Not just members of my team, but Fijian youth. To think that fear almost kept me from being an encouragement and challenge to them is simply embarrassing. To think that I make things so much about me is equally so.
I was captured by the unassuming, simple life of the Nabila Village. From growing their own crops to raising the chickens and pigs that supply their food, village life is pure and organic. It is not uncommon for one to live in the same village for their entire life. They marry and raise families just around the corner. They break every morning and afternoon for tea and treats. They eat together, worship together, and grow together in every way. It was wildly unlike anything I’m used to, and yet everything I crave in community. To know, love, and live is such a blessing and my western culture misses the depth of people more often than I’m willing to admit.
I was laying on the beach during our free time on Saturday when I heard the oinking and squealing of a pig grow from a soft to loud like the siren of an emergency vehicle on the street. Next thing I know, sweet little Fijian boys are making their way onto the beach with a wheel barrow holding a pig, tied at the feet. Not far behind was a great crowd of onlookers and I quickly connected the pieces.
Lunch.
I jumped up from my towel and wandered over with the crowd. I’ll spare you the details, and will only say how fascinating of an experience this was for me! I have never known my food while it was alive. I’m certainly an eater of meat, but observing the process changes things! I think that now, having seen the process, I have a legitimate chance at survival should I ever find myself stranded on an island. We ate the poor little guy in the feast they served us after church on Sunday.
Monday was our first day off since we’ve been here, and we were delighted at the chance to explore the beautiful land we currently call home. Garrett, a fellow American intern, did some research and found a fantastic adventure for us to embark on! So, bright and early on Monday morning, Garrett, Sabrina, Olivia, Adina (from Romania), Nathan (from Australia) and I took a taxi into town, exchanged money, and caught the bus to Wailoko!
We arrived at Sabeto Springs and were greeted by wonderfully friendly Fijians. Two men with a machete led us up the mountain, called The Sleeping Giant, as there was no existing path from where we started. We hiked for almost two hours through lemon grass (which we took a handful of to make tea when we got home!) until we reached the top. Encountering barbed wire, incredible amounts of burrs, mud, and critters, we arrived at the bottom quite dirty.
Our guide led us over to the mud pool where we covered ourselves with the mud and took silly pictures. As instructed, we spread the mud was EVERYWHERE – making our hair thick, matted, and disgusting. After the sun dried it on our skin, we climbed into the pool and washed it off. This mud pool is essentially a natural pool filled from the ground with volcanic mud and hot water. In one corner we could feel the heat of the water coming from underground – pretty amazing.
After the mud, he we went to the hot springs – another pool of natural hot water flowing from beneath the earth. It comes up at over 140 degrees Fahrenheit and is filtered to a separate pool at just over 100 degrees. We climbed into this natural hot tub and rested until they led us to the bora for the massage. On our way home, we got off at the bus stop by McDonalds for ice cream cones and french fries. It was a truly delightful day of adventures and laughter spent with new friends and old. Today we were back in the training room preparing for the clinic we will lead next week. Church leaders from all around Fiji will be joining us in Lautoka to learn how to share the gospel, and train others to do the same. I was asked to teach the session on discipleship and to share a devotion with the group one morning. What a privilege! I can’t explain how refreshing the last several weeks have been for my heart, mind, and soul. This family we have created continues to surprise and encourage me through conversations, worship, laughter, and prayer. We are blessed.
xoxo
Mangrove trees on the beach in Nabila VillagePig Roast!from the top of the mountain
Volcanic Mud PoolHot springs… aka: homemade hot tubMassage hut!
Our week in Vanuatu was a full one. I often found myself staring up into the expanse above and wondering how I found myself here. The stars in this place are unlike any other, and a lot happened beneath them this week.
Softly put, it was a hard week. I struggled to find peace and questioned the effectiveness of the “street evangelism” methods that we were learning and teaching. I came back the first day in tears at the lack of connection and assertiveness with which my native field worker approached the situation. “This can’t be the best way,” was my only thought.
Day two brought incredible spiritual warfare, a schism in team unity, and disagreement with authority. “Lord, what do You have us here for?” We had only been in Vanuatu for three days, but it felt like weeks. Days were dragging and my heart was hurting.
In quite a timely manner, our internet connection was lost and we were completely cut off from the world outside our team. Initially irritated, and wishing I had a way to connect and lament through cyber space to loved ones back home, I was moved to my knees.
Yahweh alone can heal. He can make sense of confusion, frustration, and hurt. He speaks softly over my restless heart and reminds me that He is good. That He knows. That He sees and covers over our imperfections with His blood. That He is full of grace.
So much grace.
Albeit a hard one, joy was sprinkled throughout the week in the form of sneaky adventures, waterfall exploration, dancing in the rain, and Independence Day celebrations that nearly got the cops called. We met up in Vanuatu with a team of students from a youth group in Australia and grew to love them more than words could accurately say. You would be hard pressed to find a group of students more humble, silly, and passionate about Jesus than the students from Figtree Anglican Church in Wollongong, Australia.
Even amidst frustration, Jesus was sweet to put me around young women who were willing to let me into their lives. To hear about their boyfriends, seek answers from Scripture, and cover everything in prayer with them was no doubt the highlight of my week. I’m comforted at how well Yahweh knows my heart. I was challenged by their questions, encouraged by their willingness to learn, and heart broken when they left.
We were supposed to leave Vanuatu on Saturday, July 6th. We arrived at the airport, checked in, and went through security. We were sitting at the gate when Langdon, the internship leader, announced that our flight had been delayed and we needed to leave the gate and go outside. This wasn’t just a wait-a-few-more-hours kind of delay. This was a you-probably-won’t-leave-Vanuatu-tonight kind of delay.
After a bit of waiting, we were informed that we would be taken to a resort with a food voucher of about $50 (5,000 Vatu). With an unexpected day of rest at the Holiday Inn, we were free to read in hammocks, order desert at the bar, or put to use the volleyball courts, paddle boards, catamarans and more!
On the sailboat, watching a glorious sunset, I was reflecting on the week with a fellow intern. Sharing our frustrations and joys from the week, I mentioned that I was still trying to find the right balance between using the method we have learned and valuing deeply to connect on a personal level with the people we meet. We settled with the truth that Yahweh works in wild ways and can still accomplish His purpose. Acknowledging also that we are in a culture of spiritual people, much different from the western worlds we both come from, and they are simply more open to conversations about God.
When we returned our life jackets and collected the things we stored at the little hut, we struck up a conversation with the hotel employee. His name is Robert and he was super open to converse with Nathan and I. Through conversation, we learned that someone shared the gospel with him last summer using the program we are here learning and teaching. He told us how thankful he is for the man who shared and went on to share with us about his current walk with the Lord. He knocked coconuts out of a tree for us, cut them open with a machete, and we sipped the pure milk as we answered his questions regarding current struggles in his life.
Nathan and I were able to encourage, share Scripture, and pray with Robert and another believing employee- John. As my new Australian friend, Matt, said in response to the story, “Can life get any better than sipping on coconuts with brothers in Christ in Vanuatu?”
No, I’m quite certain it cannot. When we were supposed to be back in Fiji resting, Yahweh was ministering to us and through us to young men we would have never met at a resort we would have never visited.
The Lord showed me wondrously in that conversation that He is bigger than methods, doubts, and frustrations. If our plane was cancelled for no other purpose than for me to see His glory, and for us to encourage Robert and John, I am content. I’m learning to find a balance in everything as I lay my heart before Yahweh’s throne.
I’m incredibly grateful for the team I am here with and the friends I am making. To struggle, pray, and grow together is one of life’s sweetest gifts.
Pray that we will remain focused on the depth of the gospel. Pray that we will refrain from reducing it to a prayer and counting salvations based upon how many appease us at the end of a conversation. Pray that Yahweh would win souls and lead us into conversations that spread His fame in the South Pacific. Pray that we will be open to growth, eager to learn, and full of grace with one another.
“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”
Psalm 103:1-5
xoxo
{John, Nathan, myself, Robert} Our sweet brothers from the Holiday Inn Resort!
I find it delightfully sweet when Yahweh takes my meager expectation and lavishes glory wildly upon it. That is the best way my jet-lagged mind can wrap around what I am currently experiencing.
We arrived in Fiji at 5am on Monday morning, and made it to the training center around 7:30am after customs, baggage, etc. For the sake of teaching our bodies to adjust, they (our leadership) encouraged us to stay awake and push through the exhaustion (by filling our day with activities).
When we first arrived at the training center, several of us noticed an adorable cottage just a few yards away from the main building. We commented on how cute it was as we followed the group up the main steps. It was here that they were sorting luggage and giving room assignments. All the other names were called and I was left standing with Sabrina, Olivia, and Charlene (a new friend from North Carolina). Langdon (intern leader) says that the four of us will be living in the cottage out front.
Umm. What? All summer? No way…
Yes way. And it’s every bit as adorable on the inside as we thought it might be from the outside.
The intern team is amazing. We have ten countries represented among us – USA, Australia, Romania, China, India, Mexico, Fiji, Vanuatu, Kazakhstan, and England. Conversation often becomes giggling about the differences between the English pronunciation of various words in England, Australia, and home. We’ve all acknowledged that we wish we had someone else’s accent and that our own is just boring.
We spent some time playing volleyball at the beach on our first day, and so the staff built us a court in our backyard. The food is delicious, the conversations are rich, and we feel God’s presence in everything. I have never in my entire life seen a more beautiful sunset than in this place. There’s a cool breeze in the morning and at night. We take morning and afternoon breaks from the schedule to have coffee, tea, and cookies. They have adopted dogs that live around the training center and one of them just had puppies. You see what I mean? Everything is simply lovely.
This week will be full of training: personality, giftedness, evangelism, and more. We’re learning from incredibly gifted people who are exceptionally passionate about seeing Yahweh become famous all over the earth. We leave for Vanuatu on Saturday and will be teaching and training church pastors and working with a team of high school students from Australia.
This is, hands down, one of the most humbling communities I have ever been a part of. I’m so grateful for your prayers and look forward to sharing more. Now while you greet Tuesday, I will bid it farewell. I hope it’s as sweet for you as it was for us.
Exactly six months ago, I sat wide-eyed at my computer as I read about Evangelism Explosion and the internships that they offer abroad for young adults pursuing full time ministry. I grew hopeful as my heart did the thing it does when peace is brought to my entire being. Something in me knew this was it, yet I was tentative to really believe so “just in case”. I prayed over my restlessness and deep desires and submitted the primary application. In a way that only Jesus could orchestrate, I progressed through the application process and was offered a spot on the team of interns.
Ah, yes. God is faithful.
Mind you, this time six months ago was right smack in the most challenging season of my life. I won’t hesitate to say I questioned where I was, what I was doing, and why I was doing it. I spent countless hours begging Jesus for answers and insight. I petitioned that He would somehow make beautiful what I felt had come to dust. Like a broken record, I was reminded:
God is faithful.
The internship that I’m participating in is a beautiful combination of training, evangelism, and pursuing the heart of Christ. The goal of the internship is that while we minister to the people around us, we would also come to understand a little bit more about what Yahweh is calling us to in a big picture way. Through evangelism, training church leaders, and being poured into – we will have ample time to learn, grow, and discover what comes next.
I’m clinging to the promise: God is faithful.
On adventures like the one before me now, I find it exponentially more important to remember this truth. He will finish what He promised. He will go before me. He will not leave me empty. He will be faithful.
It’s a truth I must remind myself of regularly, for I ashamedly trust more in the sunrise than in His word. How ironic that in counting on the sunrise, one of the most majestic of His creations, I forget to count on Him- the Creator.
There’s something easy and comforting about something you can see and feel. For every day that I have had breath on this earth, the sun as come up in the east and tucked away in the west. Not merely “like clockwork” – it is the very thing that gives us clockwork. It allocates hours for our work and ensures that it will not be hidden for long. I can see it come up in the morning as I watch the sky fill with colors like an artist meticulously fills a canvas with paint. I can feel the warmth it gives as it turns my skin golden brown… or cherry red. I can shelter myself under an enormous oak tree, and find rest in the gentle breeze that surrounds me. I can watch it set behind the Gulf of Mexico as the sky again lights up with glory.
And just like the sunrise, I see His faithfulness echo softly, yet triumphantly, in my life. I’m coming to sense His Spirit as He begins to stir like the gentle breeze that keeps me company under the oak tree. I crave it more than I crave ice cream and a hot cup of coffee. Oh, that I would crave it more and more.
And oh that we would rest in His faithfulness, counting on it more than the morning.
I treasure your prayers and look forward to sharing with you all that Jesus does in and through my team! Thank you for believing in me and in the mission that Yahweh has set before me.
I’ve found it to be a good practice every now and again to sit and think about the things that stir something deep within me.
There is something about love that infiltrates everything you do. When you truly love something, you can’t get away from it. I like to think about the things I love because it reminds me why I’m alive. It reminds me that there are single, beautiful moments that make up even the longest & hardest of days. Remembering those things helps me do everything better, I’m absolutely sure of it.
Here’s the most recent list:
..I love the way the whole earth turns pink right before the sunset.
..I love the way laughter can light up someone’s eyes.
..I love the way nothing else seems to matter when you’re at the beach.
..I love mugs.
..I love the smell of coffee.
..I love old books.
..I love the sound of giggling.
..I love stories.
..I love clouds that fill the sky like cotton candy.
..I love when my heart skips a beat… no matter the reason.
..I love friendships that have character.
..I love thunderstorms.
..I love the sound of the guitar… {especially when my brother is the one creating the sound}.
..I love love.
..I love that you can find Yahweh in everything.
..I love pillow fights.
..I love talking about Jesus.
..I love the way I get butterflies when I do the thing I know I was made to do.
..I love watching the sunrise.
..I love the way a memory can make your heart feel like you’re really back in that moment, even if only for a second.
..I love spontaneous adventures.
..I love being a sojourner in the most beautiful life.
I’m absolutely captured by the beauty of life and I’m desperately thankful for a Savior that refuses to leave me in a place of comfort. Instead, he urges me ever forward, ensuring that I’ll know him better tomorrow than I did today.
I must apologize for my delay in giving a final update. Finishing our time in the camps was emotional and challenging. It was incredibly difficult to walk away knowing that I will never see them again on this earth. It’s even more challenging to know that I might not see them again, if they never surrender to the Lord. It makes my throat tighten up even now.
I hate goodbyes. I hate the uncertainty, I hate the emotion, I just hate it. It’s even worse in this kind of circumstance. I spent two weeks pouring my heart out in the form of teaching. I sought desperately to communicate the gospel, but couldn’t articulate it enough.
Our last day in the camp was beautiful. When we arrived at the family camp in the afternoon, the women had set up our normal “school table” with a tablecloth, plates, cups, and covered food. They were all wearing their nicest dresses and make up (something they hadn’t done in two weeks!). It was evident that this was a special day.
We helped them finish cooking “dinner” and gathered around the table. It was such a sweet time and I fought back tears the entire time. Leaving is just so hard. We laughed as we ate salad, rice, fruit, and goat (yikes). They are just so sweet.
One of the camp directors was around and she told us later that she had never seen the women connect like that with a short-term team. Praise God for the relationships that He allowed us to build! I can truly say I loved those women as deeply as my heart is able and I long so much for the Lord to complete His work in them.
While we were in Valetta a few days before, we each bought a little gift for our students. After dinner I took Khadija aside and gave her a little gift, a picture of the two of us, and a letter. I bought her a blue scarf, and I got myself a matching one. I wore mine that last day and I told her that every time I wore the scarf I would think of her. She smiled so big! In the letter I took the opportunity to write out the gospel in the simplest way that I knew how. I wrote that I hoped she would keep the note until she could read and understand English. I told her I hoped she would find someone to translate for her.
I know it’s not much. It doesn’t even really seem productive. I’ve battled feeling inadequate and insufficient in our work and service. The good news is: I know they are lies. I read back over my first post where I said, “I care nothing if we see the fruit of this trip on this earth as long as I know that His word has gone forth.” Ya know, it’s really easy to say that before you go. It’s really easy to be hopeful in the beginning and to think that you’re going to save Malta in two weeks. It’s really easy to have confidence when you start seeing fruit.
It’s really hard to have a language barrier. It’s really hard to write the alphabet ten thousand times only to have her guess X every five seconds. It’s really hard when she stares at you blankly every time you say the name Jesus.
It’s hard, but the promise doesn’t change. I am confident that God is going to accomplish the purpose that He set for His words. I am so humbled that I got to be that mouthpiece, and I cannot imagine doing anything else for the rest of my life. I am confident that seeds have been planted and that Jesus is faithful to send someone to water those seeds. I don’t doubt for a single second that our time in the camps was filled with deep purpose.
I know that I cannot save. I know that Jesus can. Praise Him for that!! …and for a thousand other things.
Thank you so much for praying me through this trip. I could honestly go on for pages telling of the way that Jesus taught me during these three weeks. I very much anticipated doing a lot while in Malta, but I never would have dreamt that He would teach me so much about my own heart. He is surely doing a renovation in me and I anticipate the finished product.
I ask that you would continue to pray for the men and women that we served. I have hope that Jesus is going to harvest those seeds someday. My heart longs in a way I’ve never felt to see those women again. I want desperately for Jesus to send more people to them and I want them to be passionate about seeing His glory shine. There is a song I love called “What We Hope”, and I am claiming a line from that song:
“We’ll rest in what we don’t know, and we’ll speak of what we hope.”
That’s my banner, folks. I’m resting in the fact that I simply don’t know, but I will boldly proclaim the hope I have that Jesus will ransom their hearts and lead them to salvation.
Okay, people. Yahweh is most assuredly watching over us! I didn’t doubt that He was, but there is nothing quite so precious as when He makes it known! Check out how He showed us today…
After fighting a migraine Tuesday night and all day yesterday, I went to bed early hoping it would go away as I slept. In my hurting, I forgot to set an alarm…
In the bed next to me I found Hannah and Emily slept through their alarms and were still fast asleep…
Woops.
Sleeping through all of the alarms left us very little time to get ready, eat breakfast, and catch the bus with the team, so Jordan suggested that we take our time and catch the 9:15 bus (instead of the 8:50 that the team takes). We gladly accepted his offer and the rest of the team headed to the bus stop.
Now, we bought 7-day bus passes last Friday and the bus driver gave us the resident discount (instead of the tourist price which is twice as much). We were very thankful, but were warned by Brielle (American missionary kid in Malta who has been living and serving with us… a precious new friend!) that it could cause us trouble if we encountered a ticket checker.
“Ticket checkers” are basically angry, mean men that work for Arriva, the bus company. They get on the buses randomly and check everyone’s ticket and grill the bus driver about who knows what. We haven’t been too concerned about them seeing as we’ve been riding the buses for over two weeks and we’ve never seen one.
Well, all that changed this morning.
We caught our first bus which takes us to the Marsa Park & Ride. This is where basically every bus in Malta connects. While Hannah, Emily and I were waiting at the Park & Ride for our second bus we saw angry, mean men in suits getting on and off every bus that stopped. Now would be a good time to imagine low, doomful music.
What’s worse than our resident priced tickets is what happened when Emily and Hannah taped their paper tickets to prevent tearing. Almost every bit of ink faded under the tape and you could only faintly see the valid date. We have had no issue for the last 4 days getting on and off buses several times a day. We knew that the ticket checkers, however, would not be so gracious. When our bus (which is a Mercedes Bens, by the way, but that’s not important…) pulled up we silently prayed that he just wouldn’t notice us or our problematic tickets.
The two angry, mean, ticket checker men got on the bus when it arrived. The first angry man went straight to the back of the bus to start checking tickets, while the other started checking the drivers credentials and what not.
The bus driver must have assumed that the angry, mean man would check our tickets because we walked right onto the bus. We walked to the back where there were 3 seats together (just beyond the angry, mean man). He stopped and looked at us with his angry, mean eyes, stepped aside, an motioned with his arms for us to walk past him.
That is, WITHOUT checking our tickets.
We sat down and looked at each other with wide eyes. “Holy cow, the team is not going to believe this!!” We were SO thankful.
We got to the camp and headed to the back room where the team was, as no students had yet arrived.
“We saw ticket checkers… Y’all aren’t gonna believe what happened.”
They all went silent and asked us to tell the story, which we recounted with a strong sense of victory in our voices.
They immediately smiled, looked at each other with confidence, and began to tell us their own experience with the angry, mean, ticket checking men.
Lauren had the same faded ticket problem from the tape, and the angry, mean man was NOT gracious at all. Apparently, he yelled, refused to believe it had a valid date, and gave her no option but to pay a fine and purchase a new ticket. He was so worked up about Lauren’s ticket that he ignored the resident priced tickets of the others. He charged them a fee of €10 and made her by a new 7-day pass (€12.50). The two of these charges together is roughly $45. All because of an angry, mean man… not because they did anything wrong!
They continued to tell us that they prayed for the angry, mean man to find joy. Knowing that Han and Em both had faded tickets, they knew that if we were also “caught” it would total charges of well over $100 (not the kinda cash we’ve got laying around by ANY means). So, they prayed also that we would simply be invisible to the angry, mean man.
Which is EXACTLY what God did!! The man motioned us to walk RIGHT passed him! Ah. So lovely.
I hope you’re encouraged by this teeny tiny story of God’s faithfulness. You need to know that God is good and His plan cannot be thwarted. You are absolutely incapable of messing up what He wants to do. Your willingness to be used for His kingdom (in ANY capacity) puts you in the perfect position for Him to accomplish wonderful things through you. Yes- fearful, broken you, with scars and painful memories and a thousand regrets. You are not too far from grace. You can be used.
Be willing. Be open. Be flexible. And know with absolute confidence that He has it worked out before you even discover there is a problem. Trust Him with your needs and watch Him do immeasurably more.
It’s truly the most wonderful thing.
I’m thankful still for your time and commitment. Please keep praying! Tomorrow is going to be a tough one as we say goodbye to our friends in the camp. Please pray for opportunities to verbalize the gospel and for boldness to take them.
The Sojourn. 