I don’t quite know what has ever made me think that life in America will satisfy my heart. To think that I could live my life in a pretty little world and never long to go and tell the nations about Christ kind of breaks my heart. Why are we okay with that? Why do we think that the command to “Go and make disciples” doesn’t include us? Why do we think that we will be his witnesses HERE instead of “to the ends of the earth” like He said in Acts 1:8? How can I know and process the fact that billions of people are living and dying without ever hearing the name of Jesus Christ? What’s even worse is that I’m okay with it! I haven’t been moved to drop out of college and move to Africa. Well, I’ve thought about it…

It’s hard for me to balance the thought of completing my education and getting a degree instead of just getting out there. Who needs a stupid piece of paper? I know this thinking is borderline irrational, which is why I haven’t yet acted on it. I’m so thankful for the opportunity to receive a Christian education and use that to serve the Lord in the future. But sometimes it’s too much for me. People are dying RIGHT NOW and I’m sitting in an air conditioned house. And I have the fan on. I’m using my cell phone and typing on my personal computer. What is wrong with me?

Man. I feel like I’m all over the place, and I know that I am. But God is stirring something in my heart and I’m not quite sure what to do with it. What about the people that never hear the name of Jesus? They live and die just like us but are without hope. They’ll someday die (as millions before them have) and they’ll stand before a Lord they never knew. I’ve often wondered what they’re going to say and what their eternal outcome will be. “God will give them grace for having never heard, right?” I hate both components of the new answer… They are still sinners and still receive the punishment for that.. more so, it was MY responsibility to tell them. I’m going to have to answer the Lord on their behalf because it’s my fault they’re not hearing!!!!

I just want to go. I don’t really care where. And I don’t care for how long. I just wanna tell the world about my Savior and my Best Friend. And I want to do it until I die. Until I finally meet the Lord and hopefully hear those precious words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

I pray your heart is challenged as much as mine has been.